Having An Open Mind - A Testimonial

I attended this 16 week Anger Management program during the summer and partial fall of 2011. My initial response to this forced attendance was to resist any thought of change. My thoughts were that I wasn’t angry and I didn’t need this program. I was put in an unfortunate situation and it was caused by reaction. Not anger. “I’m not to blame, it was the other party”.

My first thoughts of the sessions were not even close on how I thought they would go. I thought it was going to be a bunch of attendees singing “Kum Bah Yah” and other sensitive mumbo jumbo. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The sessions focused on what anger is, how to control anger and minimize angers negative effects in my life. Other sessions involved on communication or the lack of it, and other aspects that could trigger anger. Everybody thinks that anger is a reaction to an event but what I found out is, that it is a bunch of smaller emotions on how your feeling that becomes combined and overloads you (stress). Now, I think prior to attending this course I wasn’t angry. After completing this course I found that I was angry and that my anger can be controlled.

The course opens your mind to think. It makes you think. It opens your mind to other non-anger responses to events. The course also just doesn’t plainly tell you that you can’t act this way, by all means we are human and different sexes. It course reveals the reason on why it makes you angry and shows you how to think of other options to pursue and resolve the issue.

Out of my personal experience, I enjoyed the sessions. During and after every session, I was able to think about personal issues and events that have happened in my life. I found that I was lacking in several areas of being self-aware. With these sessions, I can identify what is the issue(s) and proceed on by more productive ways.

Now being able to notice anger identifiers and emotions, I’m able to feel more confident about obtaining my goals that I thought were out of reach. I truly believe attending The WIN Institute is a very good option for your requirements. It’s a calm atmosphere and there are truly no wrong answers, thoughts, feelings, and situations about yourself that you wish to divulge.

If you come with an open mind and you truly participate in the program and practice some suggestions on dealing with anger and emotions, you are going to feel that this is a very helpful program. I thank you very much Steven for helping me. Thanks again. --- Chris, Wayzata

For more information about The WIN Institute – Minnesota Anger Management, please contact:

Steven W. Clark, CAMF, CDVF, COAMF
The WIN Institute
Minnesota Anger Management
763-913-0130
www.thewininstitute.org
www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com

Eight (8) Hour Anger Management Class – A Testimonial

Recently I took part in an 8 Hour Anger/Stress Management class provided by The WIN Institute – Minnesota Anger Management. This class was referred to me and I was skeptical at first. Then after a little soul searching and being at a place in my life right now, which is less desirable, this class was perfect for me.

I decided that I would come into it with no expectations, no nothing but the thought of gaining knowledge. By the end of the class I not only gained knowledge. I gained perspective, rationale, and most important, life experience that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

The topics we covered ranged from Stress Management to Communication Skills to Emotional Intelligence to which all may lead to anger if not handled in an appropriate constructive manner. We all have the option to choose in what direction we want to go in life and the topics we discussed gave me a whole new insight on how to handle certain situations. Most of the time I may not have identified the feelings I had or even the thoughts. But stepping back and putting clarity into those will help me move forward in the direction of positive action!

Communication is a huge part of my daily life because I have to function with others at my job. We all have the same goal as a business. In this class I learned that effective listening is going to help not only in problem solving but better communication period. Looking back at some of the experiences I have had with my family we have not always had the best communication. I am certain they will see a better communicator!!!

As stated earlier, I gained a life experience that will stay with me a lifetime and I plan on sharing my knowledge that I have learned and pass it on to others. I think the class or any type of class like this should be taught in schools or some form of curriculum. It will benefit everyone in some sort of way whether it be conscious or unconscious.

I would like to thank The WIN Institute – Minnesota Anger Management and Steven Clark for giving me the understanding in a new light, that I am in control of myself and my actions and it is up to me to put them into positive motion!!!! --- Jason, Minneapolis

For more information about The WIN Institute – Minnesota Anger Management, please contact:

Steven W. Clark, CAMF, COAMF, CDVF
763-913-0130
www.thewininstitute.org
www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com

Everyone Has A Technique To Control Anger

It seems that everyone has a technique to control anger. Most of the specifics are good. But let’s get to the heart of the matter.

Anger is a learned response. It was learned in the formative years of childhood and carried forth in our memories into subsequent years as a child, teenager and on into adulthood. Since it is learned there really is no medication to be prescribed or taken to wipe out this memory.

On the other hand, there are new responses to be learned to overcome those old angry responses. Put simply, this new learning suppresses the old memories and allows for a new response when situations that may cause anger issues arise.

You are not crazy! You are not abnormal! You just need to be trained to respond differently!

Unfortunately, we have never been trained to control our anger. Our elementary, secondary and even college educations have woefully neglected this area.

Steven Clark is a Certified Stress and Anger Management Provider and Diplomat of the American Association of Anger Management Providers. His Anger Management Training Classes offer not only Anger Management Control but also Stress Identification and Control, an improvement in Communications and an enhancement of Emotional Intelligence in a comfortable conference room setting either in group sessions or as one-on-one training.

Once learned, your responses will improve, your health will improve and your interpersonal relationships will improve as well.

For more information about The WIN Institute's Anger and Stress Management Intervention program, please contact:

Steven W. Clark, CAMF, COAMF
The WIN Institute
Minnesota Anger Management
763-913-0130
www.thewininstitute.org
www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com

Confronting The Inner Fire – A Testimonial

I enrolled into The WIN Institute – Minnesota Anger Management’s Thursday night Anger Management Class because I had problems controlling my anger. I didn't understand at the time that there are many contributing emotions that lead to my anger. I was short tempered, confrontational, and used put downs and sarcasm when my emotions got the best of me.

The WIN Institute’s website happened to be the website that grabbed my attention most. I was still very sceptical, thinking to myself, "Do I really need this?" I thought long and hard about attending the class. I recalled how my actions had hurt my new marriage, my family, and friends. It finally became clear to me that I needed to make an effort to change my life for the better. I had too many people in my life I was in danger of losing.

I still had my doubts, thinking I was going to be in a class with "Thugs, Creeps and Crazies". I was pleasantly surprised that the class consisted of normal, everyday people such as myself. The group setting made me a little nervous at first, but everyone was there for the same reason (to control their anger). The group worked well together, like a team. In many cases other group members pointed out that they also went through many of the same emotions, and share the same stresses.

Shortly after I started my sessions, I noticed I was implementing the techniques I learned in class. I wasn't getting angry at all the "Little Things" as much as I was before. My friends started noticing a change in me. My relationship with my wife was getting stronger and more intimate. I even noticed I was becoming more productive at work and around the house. That was something my wife surely appreciated.

This class has changed my life. I think joining this class was one of the best decisions I have made for myself. This program is just a tool, and I still need to put in the work myself to make it work.

Thanks Steven, you are a very patient man and a great mentor. I am truly grateful. I wish all my group members good luck. You can do it. --- Ryan, Golden Valley

For more information about The WIN Institute – Minnesota Anger Management, please contact:

Steven W. Clark, CAMF, CDVF, COAMF
The WIN Institute -- Minnesota Anger Management
763-913-0130
www.thewininstitute.org
www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com

Taking A Step Of Faith – A Testimonial

Thursday (well, all days for that matter) use to consist of a person who would let emotions get the best of him (short-fused, bitter, angry and most of all uncontrolled). Now, Thursday nights (again all nights) consist of a more understanding, compassionate, less bothered and patient person. All because of what The WIN Institute has taught that man. If you can’t figure it out, that man is me.

My wife and I had been going to a therapist to better our marriage and parenting skills. And after getting a suggestion from our therapist to check out The WIN Institute, I decided “what could I lose”. Upon the initial interview, I discovered and felt that WOW, this is the right place to be!

After my first session, I discovered that many different people from many different walks of life share similar problems and challenges. The in-depth look at myself and others has provided me with a different outlook on life, all for the positive (past, present and future). Again, WOW!

Now after being an active listener and participant in our group sessions, I can see more of the rewards coming from attending The WIN Institute. More compliments from family and friends of how I have bettered myself. I have been told that my anger is much more under control; that I have become a better father to our two toddlers; that I am a happier husband and a less angry man.

I look forward to going to the next group session because I know that I can understand and learn more about why I became the person I was and how I can change to become a better person.

I have learned that with the guidance, help, interaction and passion from The WIN Institute, life can become less of the negative and more of the positive if you are willing to accept change and put in the effort.

I have told many people about The WIN Institute and have gotten many different responses, but all I can do is try to encourage them to check it out. I know I did and I am becoming a much better man, husband and father for making that decision.

Thanks again, WIN Institute, for helping me become a better man because of the insights that you have taught me. --- Justin, Maplewood

For more information about The WIN Institute's Anger Management Intervention program, please contact:

Steven W. Clark, CAMF, COAMF, CDVF
763-913-0130
www.thewininstitute.org
www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com

The THREE STEPS to Anger First Aid

When the limbic system is running amok and your body is surging with adrenaline, you need a simple strategy to deal with anger.

Anger First Aid consists of three simple steps to apply whenever you become angry in order to keep from acting out destructively.

You must become more aware of yourself. The true way to measure our ability to understand, respond to and measure our emotions is to assess the role anger plays in our life. Do we get angry often? Is our anger channeled in productive or counter-productive ways? Do we direct anger towards others or towards ourselves?

At times, anger is a response to a stressful stimulus. It is a powerful survival tool which helps to protect us and keep us alive. It is also a useful of source of energy.

Anger accelerates our thoughts to a very rapid rate. For short durations, this is healthy. However, remaining in a state of anger for a sustained period of time is physically and emotionally unhealthy.

When we are angry we make poor decisions. We become confrontational with those around us. At home, this can translate into either verbally or physically abusive behavior toward those we love. In the workplace it can take the form of threatening or bullying behavior toward subordinates and or lashing out against superiors.

Anger is not a primary emotion. If you are angry there is a direct cause. Therefore, to control our anger you must identify the root cause. You must perform a self-assessment.

The THREE STEPS of ANGER FIRST AID are

1) Recognizing that you are angry.
2) Taking a cleansing breath.
3) Taking a break, a Time Out or a cool down period.

To get more information about how The WIN Institute can assist you with your anger, stress and/or aggressive behavior (physical or verbal), please contact:

Steven W. Clark, CAMF, COAMF, CDVF
The WIN Institute
Minnesota Anger Management
763-913-0130
Web Site: www.thewininstitute.org
Blog Site: www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com

When Should You Enroll In Our Anger Management Program?

Anger Management is a program to increase Emotional Intelligence and the skills in Self-Awareness, Self-Control, Social Awareness and Relationship Management. Any time is the right time for skill enhancement in these areas.

Generally, most self-referrals to Anger Management Programs are by persons who are having recurrent anger issues with people whom they are closely related.

However, if you are experiencing angry reactions frequently, you are in need of a program which will improve your skills in emotional intelligence.

Anger is a normal human emotion which is experienced by everyone from time to time. Here are five specific signals that will tell you when your anger is working against you and creating problems for you:

1) When it is too frequent. There are many situations for which becoming angry is justified and natural. But, we often get angry when it is not necessary or useful. It is important to distinguish between the times when it is alright to be angry and when getting angry isn’t a wise idea.

2) When it is too intense. Anger is something that occurs at different levels of intensity. A small or moderate amount of anger can often work to your advantage. High degrees of anger rarely produce positive results and may damage your own physical health.

3) When it lasts too long. When anger continues over time, you maintain a level of arousal or stress that goes beyond normal limits. When anger does not go away, your body’s systems are prevented from returning to normal levels, which makes it easier to get angry the next time something goes wrong. Sometimes, it becomes impossible to resolve.

4) When it leads to aggression. Aggressive acts are likely to result in trouble for you. When you feel you have been abused or treated unfairly, you may want to hurt the person who has offended you. Verbal aggression, like calling someone a name, is not helpful and often leads to a cycle of increasing aggression.

5) When it destroys work or personal relationships. When your anger interferes with doing a good job or makes it hard for people to relate to you, then it becomes a problem.

Anger Management is, by far, the most appropriate method for developing, strengthening and enhancing skills to manage anger and stress.

To get more information about how The WIN Institute can assist you with your anger, stress and/or aggressive behavior (physical or verbal), please contact:

Steven W. Clark, CAMF, COAMF, CDVF
The WIN Institute
Minnesota Anger Management
763-913-0130
Web Site: www.thewininstitute.org
Blog Site: www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com

The Three Steps of Anger First Aid

When the limbic system is running amok and your body is surging with adrenaline, you need a simple strategy to deal with anger.

Anger First Aid consists of three simple steps to apply whenever you become angry in order to keep from acting out destructively.

You must become more aware of yourself. The true way to measure our ability to understand, respond to and measure our emotions is to assess the role anger plays in our life. Do we get angry often? Is our anger channeled in productive or counter-productive ways? Do we direct anger towards others or towards ourselves?

At times, anger is a response to a stressful stimulus. It is a powerful survival tool which helps to protect us and keep us alive. It is also a useful source of energy.

Anger accelerates our thoughts to a very rapid rate. For short durations, this is healthy. However, remaining in a state of anger for a sustained period of time is physically and emotionally unhealthy.

When we are angry we make poor decisions. We become confrontational with those around us. At home, this can translate into either verbally or physically abusive behavior toward those we love. In the workplace it can take the form of threatening or bullying behavior toward subordinates and or lashing out against superiors.

Anger is not a primary emotion. If you are angry there is a direct cause. Therefore, to control your anger you must identify the root cause. You must perform a self-assessment.

The Three Steps of Anger First Aid are:

1) Recognizing that you are angry.
2) Taking a cleansing breath.
3) Taking a break, a Time Out or a cool down period.

[from George Anderson]

To get more information about how The WIN Institute – Minnesota Anger Management can assist you with your anger, stress and/or aggressive behavior (physical or verbal), please contact:

Steven W. Clark, CAMF, COAMF, CDVF
The WIN Institute -- Minnesota Anger Management
3300 Bass Lake Road, Suite 400E
Brooklyn Center, MN 55429
763-913-0130
Web Site: www.thewininstitute.org
Blog Site: www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com

Using Self Talk to Manage Your Anger

"Pins and needles, needles and pins; it's a happy man that grins." These classic words were made famous by Jackie Gleason in his role as Ralph Kramden in the 1950s TV sitcom, The Honeymooners.

So why in the world was America's favorite bus driver so intent on repeating this phrase whenever he was on the verge of losing his temper? Quite simple, by changing his self-talk or inner conversation with himself, Ralph Kramden was using a popular anger management strategy that continues to be widely used today.

While Ralph Kramden's "Pins and Needles" may not be the mantra that works best for you, perhaps you can develop your own self-talk or inner conversation to use when agitated or provoked. It can be something as simple as, "Relax. Take it easy. I can handle this."

By modifying your self-talk during moments of anger or frustration, you will be more inclined to take the "high road" and avoid conflicts and negative consequences. Although changing the inner conversation with yourself may feel unnatural at first, it eventually will become second nature.

So practice, practice, practice! All the while, keep in mind that your words are extremely powerful and will ultimately hold the key to managing your anger.

To get more information about how The WIN Institute - Minnesota Anger Management can assist you with your anger, stress and/or aggressive behavior (physical or verbal), please contact:

Steven W. Clark, CAMF, COAMF, CDVF
The WIN Institute
Minnesota Anger Management
763-913-0130
Web Site: www.thewininstitute.org
Blog Site: www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

No matter what situations life throws at you! No matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem! Remember, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Your light might just be Stress and Anger Management Intervention training. In these sessions, we will teach you how to manage your Stress, how to control your Anger, how to better Communicate with your loved ones, co-workers and employers and how to enhance your Emotional Intelligence.

Anger is a learned response to the many stresses you face each day. By learning new ways to deal with your stress and anger, your life and relationships will become what you want.

If you have a history of recurring anger issues, you need Stress and Anger Management Training. Your health, your relationships, your very life may depend on it.

Stress and Anger Management Intervention is, by far, the most appropriate method for developing, strengthening and enhancing your skills to manage your stress and anger.

To get more information about how The WIN Institute can assist you with your stress, anger and/or aggressive behavior (physical or verbal), please contact:

Steven W. Clark, CAMF, COAMF, CDVF
The WIN Institute
Minnesota Anger Management
763-913-0130
E-Mail: thewininstitute@yahoo.com
Web Site: www.thewininstitute.org
Blog Site: www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com

Court Ordered Anger Management Intervention – A Testimonial

I came from old family ways and traditional values that taught me to keep family matters “in-house” and not talk about them with anyone else outside of the family. The problem was that we never discussed or resolved any of the issues within my family of origin.

Over time, I became numb and confused regarding my own emotions because of the issues that we did not address that should have been discussed. What I thought was being in control of my emotions was really a way of masking my hurt, anger and frustration regarding unanswered, unresolved issues and questions.

I was court-ordered to attend an Anger Management program due to my prior violent behavior. Before attending The WIN Institute’s Anger Management Intervention program, anger management was not an option for me.

After having completed the 16 week Anger Management Intervention program with The WIN Institute, I have gained a much better awareness of myself and how to communicate assertively while using my anger much more productively.

Prior to attending The WIN Institute program I developed a pattern of internalizing my feelings and emotions which, in many instances, lead to explosive outbursts. My anger was turned inward thru guilt, depression, substance abuse and rejection.

For myself, I have recognized my patterns of negative behavior that lead to abrupt and impulsive choices. Those patterns are now replaced with positive conscious behavior. These new behavioral skills will help me move closer to my life goals and aspirations. --- Jeffrey, Minneapolis.

For more information about The WIN Institute's Anger Management Intervention program, please contact:

Steven W. Clark, CAMF, COAMF
763-913-0130
www.thewininstitute.org
www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com

Civility, Anger Management & Emotional Intelligence: Unintended Consequences Of Tucson, Arizona

The tragedy in Tucson, Arizona has resulted in an avalanche of self-referrals to anger management programs nationwide. Parents who are fearful of the potential for violence on the part of their off spring as well as spouses are asking to be seen individually or in groups. Even neighbors are urging others to seek help for long standing problems in interpersonal relationships.

Mental health providers are experiencing an increase in referrals for anxiety and depression which are oftern precursors of anger and/or impediments to empathy and emotional intelligence. Below are some of the comments from callers.

•I am a Chef and last Sunday my anger was so extreme it freightened me. I just know that it is time to do something that I should have done long ago. Take an anger management class.

•My son is 17 and we are worrying about him because he is always angry to the extent that his friends are even telling him that he needs help.

•My wife wants me to come and, I guess she is right. I find myself over reacting to almost everything.

•I have two small children and I find myself pinching them, throwing things and yelling when they are only being children.

•I am a Priest and a number of my parishioners have privately urged my to seek counseling for my temper. It is embarrassing for a person in my position.

•I am a Professional in Elder Care. I found myself yelling at a neighbor who I later found in terminally ill. I feel so ashamed.

These are just some of the comments. The number of calls have increased dramatically since the cry for civility hit the airways and the Internet. This is a trend that a grieving nation needs.

[from George Anderson, MSW]

To get more information about how The WIN Institute can assist you with your Anger, Stress and/or Aggressive Behavior (physical or verbal), please contact:

Steven W. Clark, CAMF, COAMF, CDVF
The WIN Institute
763-913-0130
Web Site: www.thewininstitute.org
Blog Site: www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com

Anger Management For Teens

Many teens (and adults, too!) have trouble effectively managing their anger and stress. They may explode, yell and curse, throw things, and slam doors. Or they may turn their anger inwards, becoming sullen and depressed. In the most extreme cases, a pattern of unresolved angry feelings can lead to violence, either directed at others or towards the self. What causes these angry feelings in the first place?

It’s important that teens be able to do the following:

Recognize triggers. When teens are calm enough to process effectively, they can be helped to deconstruct situations that resulted in anger: what happened first? Often, the thing that seems to have caused the anger may have just been the “last straw”, but might not be the true trigger. Teens often need help working backwards to identify what the real issue is.

Once the trigger is identified, help teens to label it. “I got angry when my teacher asked me for my homework and it isn’t done.” Or “I got angry when my friend backed out of plans we had made.” Spelling out the trigger helps teens to focus on that trigger.

Identify underlying feelings. Often, there is an emotional response to the situation that precedes anger. The teen needs help to try to weed these feelings out. A follow up question might be, “Why do you think that made you so angry?” In the examples above, typical responses might be, “Because everyone was watching.” Or “Because it makes me feel like she’s not really my friend.” This process helps the teen uncover other feelings, such as fear, shame, or loneliness, which lie underneath the anger. These are the feelings that need to be dealt with.

Then the teen needs to reflect on these feelings and put names on the feelings. “You felt embarrassed.” Or “You felt like you might not trust her friendship.” Acknowledging teens’ experiences helps validate them, and keeps teens to open-up and talk. Plus, until a teen feels understood, they are not usually ready to move into a problem-solving phase.

For more information about The WIN Institute's Teen Anger Management Intervention program, please contact:

Steven W. Clark, JD, CAMF, CDVF
763-913-0130
www.thewininstitute.org
www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com