Anger Management For Teens

Many teens (and adults, too!) have trouble effectively managing their anger and stress. They may explode, yell and curse, throw things, and slam doors. Or they may turn their anger inwards, becoming sullen and depressed. In the most extreme cases, a pattern of unresolved angry feelings can lead to violence, either directed at others or towards the self. What causes these angry feelings in the first place?

It’s important that teens be able to do the following:

Recognize triggers. When teens are calm enough to process effectively, they can be helped to deconstruct situations that resulted in anger: what happened first? Often, the thing that seems to have caused the anger may have just been the “last straw”, but might not be the true trigger. Teens often need help working backwards to identify what the real issue is.

Once the trigger is identified, help teens to label it. “I got angry when my teacher asked me for my homework and it isn’t done.” Or “I got angry when my friend backed out of plans we had made.” Spelling out the trigger helps teens to focus on that trigger.

Identify underlying feelings. Often, there is an emotional response to the situation that precedes anger. The teen needs help to try to weed these feelings out. A follow up question might be, “Why do you think that made you so angry?” In the examples above, typical responses might be, “Because everyone was watching.” Or “Because it makes me feel like she’s not really my friend.” This process helps the teen uncover other feelings, such as fear, shame, or loneliness, which lie underneath the anger. These are the feelings that need to be dealt with.

Then the teen needs to reflect on these feelings and put names on the feelings. “You felt embarrassed.” Or “You felt like you might not trust her friendship.” Acknowledging teens’ experiences helps validate them, and keeps teens to open-up and talk. Plus, until a teen feels understood, they are not usually ready to move into a problem-solving phase.

For more information about The WIN Institute's Teen Anger Management Intervention program, please contact:

Steven W. Clark, JD, CAMF, CDVF
763-913-0130
www.thewininstitute.org
www.thewininstitute.blogspot.com